Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Even my vagina gasped.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
