I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
