He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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