Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize