Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
