My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
