Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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