just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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