just come out here and I will go home with you...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
