Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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