You just made me feel so damn special
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
