Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
