i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
