ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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