Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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