is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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