The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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