My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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