We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
