hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am spending my child support on dildos
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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