Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
