I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
