Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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