i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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