I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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