Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
