whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
