sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Boobs are out for the taking
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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