how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
