I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
