she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
