i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
40s are totally the cure
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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