when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well I just put wine in my tea
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
