so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
