Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he wants to bone in the snuggie
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
