My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
