Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We talked him into tasing himself.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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