I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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