he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
