i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
