ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think my mom watched the whole time
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize