is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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