My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
