Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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