It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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