didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
