Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
