there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
