in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
