once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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