yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
