Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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