She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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