how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
