I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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