basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
