laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
