so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize