take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
