i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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