Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
