So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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