Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
