Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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