so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I looked at my own cervix.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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